Marriage is a sacred relationship, not an employment. Unfortunately, in our society, marriage is considered an employment even before it actually takes place. Girls are made to sit in front of families of boys and answer questions about themselves which are much more ridiculous than actual questions out of a job interview. After brutally interrogating the girl and her family, the girl is meant to wait in the same way that she would wait for an email of the offer letter for the job that she has applied for. And so begins the tiresome job of getting married and of taking it as a full time employment.
In Islam, however, marriage is certainly not an employment and everything that is mentioned above is expressly forbidden by Allah and his Messenger, Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). From the time before the couple is married, to after they are eventually living together in the marriage, it should be treated as a couple living in togetherness, harmony and peace and making the relationship work despite problems that may come their way.
Couples need to fight the societal pressures that marriage is entered into as a job; that the man’s job is to earn money and the woman’s job is to have children and raise her family, cook and clean. Infact marriage is much deeper than that. True, every marriage has roles and responsibilities of the spouses but those are called their duties, not their job responsibilities as they are treated by society.
Allah has prescribed couples to be each other’s garments and fulfill their duties towards them. However, those duties should be as a result of mutual love and admiration for each other, not out of simply a sense of responsibility that you would have towards a job that pays you. That is because while marriage may not pay you a monthly stipend like your job does, it does pay you with a life time of support, happiness, togetherness and eventually a family to love and raise. You will not give your job as an employee all the emotional support you can muster, but you WILL give your marital relationship that because it a life time of commitment, unlike your job that is there for a limited amount of time.
You live you’re your husband or wife in kindness, you offer them wholesome advice and support, you obey Allah together, that is what the marriage is. Also, when we say marriage is not an employment, it means that spouses should not order around each other to get certain work done. You are her husband, not her boss. In the same way your husband is your caretaker, you are not his employer. So never treat your marriage like a job that pays you monetarily. You will get paid, ofcourse, but it is a different kind of payment, in the way of the blessings of Allah, and we can never have enough of those.
