When was the last time someone chose a wife for themselves keeping in mind that she would one day become the mother of his children? Probably not any time recently. We live in a society where the thoughts of upbringing of the family and the children are given least importance. Yet Allah has rated it as supreme importance when choosing a wife for yourself. A man should marry a woman who he KNOWS will be the perfect mother of their children; a woman who is has status, wealth, faith, beauty, calmness, patience and who has a loving heart. Most important of these attributes in the eyes of Allah is that she has the strongest belief in the faith of Islam because she is the one who will play a prime role in the upbringing of her children.
It is a tradition of the Prophet (PBUH) that he once said to an advice seeker that the rights of the mother of a person are three times that of a father. This is not only because the mother has gone through pain and suffering during the 9 months in the womb but also because she is the Home Maker and plays a pivotal role in the child’s education and their lives ahead.
If the woman you have chosen as your wife can ingrain the teachings of Islam in your children and make them good human beings, then waste no time in marrying her. If her inner beauty surpasses that of her outward beauty, then waste no time in marrying her. And if her patience and intelligence is something that is very evident then again, waste no time in marrying her. Because this is the woman who will be the right mother for your children.
But how many of us look for the potential mother of their children when we court. Many Muslims go the traditional route and do not even meet the woman they are going to marry. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said in a tradition of his to “see the woman before you marry her”. Ofcourse, the meeting can take place in the presence of a mahram but it is important that it takes place.
If you make your own priorities clear and have in your heart that her strong deen will be the most important factor, then indeed you are ready for marriage. For such a woman will not only make your life beautiful but also raise your family with character and strength. Lastly, remember, looks can fade and wealth and status can disappear, but the conviction of faith always remains. Marry the woman who has that and live happily ever after with the mother of your children.
